How to Manage Co-Parenting Expenses After Divorce
Divorce has a way of going under your skin and constitute a major source of stress and pressure, especially when children are involved. Splitting the expenses of raising children is a serious issue to handle. That is why it should be thoroughly discussed to be clearly reflected on the parties’ marital settlement agreement, which outlines the guidelines of how the parties are to co-parent once the divorce is finalized.
As a former paralegal, I have already lost count of women (and men) that are always concerned because the other parent did not meet their end of the bargain. People usually underestimate the key role communication plays. To mitigate future possible misunderstandings, you can consider these strategies:
1. Co-parenting expenses should be clearly outlined in the parenting plan included as part of the divorce agreement. You may want to allocate certain expenses in the agreement, so both of you know what to expect.
· Attorneys, legal document preparers, or even the judge can outline how you’ll handle expenses such as school tuition, school supplies and uniforms, extracurricular activities, daycare arrangements, health insurance or out-of-pocket medical expenses, clothing, shoes, books, toys, and other items.
2. Keep a good communication with your ex. Being a parent is a life-long commitment that doesn’t end after divorce or even when the child turns 18. Divorce can make communication with your former partner a challenge, but it’s important to communicate with your ex about parenting expenses, and other major decisions to ensure your children continue to receive the care they need.
3. Create a system for emergency expenses. Emergency parenting expenses can appear at any time. Did your children suddenly remember they need extra money for summer camp? What about emergency medical visits that aren’t fully covered by insurance?
· Have a system in place that allows you to handle emergency and out-of-pocket expenses with ease. Know ahead of time which one of you will cover the expenses, and how the other parent is to reimburse you, or if you’ll split them evenly.
4. Start an expense fund to cover extras. If you create an expense fund and contribute whatever you can each week, even if it’s a small amount, you’ll be more likely to be able to cover small expenses that come up.
· It’s common for parents to complain about paying child support or alimony. However, children are sensitive and are usually caught in the middle of these types of complaints.
· Even if finances are tight, encourage your children to let you know whenever they need something for school or elsewhere. Hopefully, your expense fund will cover it without putting extra stress on your finances.
5. Understand the extra costs of a separate household. If you have joint custody of your children, be prepared for the extra costs. Children who have to split their time between two households need items in both of them.
· Your expenses might include a new bed, desk, chairs and other furniture for your child. You may also need to purchase toys and other items to make the child feel at home in the new location.
· Expect hidden expenses from time to time, such as the need for new toiletries or items of cloth.
6. Avoid trying to outdo the other parent. You can’t buy your child’s love, so it’s a waste of time and money to try to outdo your ex when it comes to gifts. Your children can still appreciate boundaries and the occasional present. Avoid creating a competition with your former partner by buying expensive gifts for the children.
· Instead, design a parenting budget that includes gifts and stick with whatever amounts work for you.
And remember: having a child is like having a tiny broke bestie who thinks you are rich. Children are expensive at all stages and ages, and divorce can add a great deal of stress to the financial situation. Planning for your co-parenting expenses ahead of time can save you a lot of potential headaches.