Is It Possible To be a Quality Parent When You Live Far Away From Your Children?
A couple’s separation, whether they were married once upon a time or not, always implies the minor children will have to grow on two separate households. This, by nature, makes the children’s lives somehow difficult as they have to become accustomed to different set of rules and lifestyles. On top of that, sometimes, one of the parents may find it necessary to relocate, maybe because of a better job, the possibility to start over in a new place, or just because their support system is located elsewhere.
In Florida, if you are intended to move 50 miles away from the children’s place of residence, you might be looking to start a relocation case. This type of case is usually more complex than it sounds, especially if the relocating parent wants to take the minor children with them. For a relocation to be granted, the moving parent needs to prove that said relocation will be in the best interests of the minor children. This, of course, brings about the total revision, and the creation, of a long-distance parenting plan that will include provisions as to the new timesharing schedule, visitation, traveling expenses, and parental responsibility.
However, at an emotional level, is it still possible to be a quality parent when you live far away from your children? While it is true that you, for sure, will be missing a couple of your children’s soccer games or recitals, the answer is a sound YES. But first, to smooth out your children’s transition, you need to make sure they understand you didn’t move to get away from them. They will need to know this from you. Don’t assume they know it because too many children do end up blaming themselves for such factors after a divorce or separation occurs.
Let your children know where you will be moving to and why. Talk to them about the place, how your new life is going to be like, and let them feel they are part of the process. Let them know how they can get in contact with you and how often. But most important of all, make them feel that no matter what, you will be there for them. This way they won’t feel abandoned in any way.
Do all you can to stay connected to your children. Technology nowadays really makes this process easier with apps such as FaceTime, Messenger, WhatsApp, or any other app that can facilitate communication with them. They should feel like they can call you any time they need you. They should have your most updated contact information, such as your cell phone number, email or physical address. If life gets in between, and you for no reason are unable to speak with your children every day, you should attempt to be in contact, at least, every couple of days, even if it is only to talk for a few minutes.
Take some time to stay interested in what your children are doing. Find out what is going on at school. As about their friends and their activities. If they are involved in sports then ask them to let you know about the games or have the staying parent record a game so you can watch it later. Don’t even forget the old-fashioned card on important occasions so they will know you are thinking of them.
It is going to take some good scheduling and planning to see your children when you live far away. Depending on where you are relocating, it isn’t fair to ask for them to come out every holiday, spring break, Christmas break, and for the summer. They will want to spend some of that down time with the parent they life with. They will also want to spend some of that time with their friends. However, be as clear as possible as to how your timesharing with the children will be allocated.
It may be more cost effective for you to travel to where they are at then it will be to bring them to you. It depends on how far away you are and how many children you have. The age of the children matters too as younger ones often have a difficult time traveling. Most airlines do allow older children to fly alone, but this can be hard for parents to accept.
Some parents that live far away from their children feel the only way to show they care is to send expensive gifts. While those are a nice bonus, that isn’t what it is all about. Your children want to know that you love them and that you care about them. They want to know that no matter how many miles are between you, they have a loving and support parent that is always there for them.